• Posted by: Jamie Gairo
• In: Changing Careers

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Something happened. Someone hurt you. You carry this hurt around with you. Maybe you are angry. The mere thought of the situation or the person brings this emotion up in you. Each and everyday, this is apart of you and consumes a piece of your energy. In some way, this stops you from doing something. You spend time thinking about the situation or person, as opposed to doing something that could move you forward.

Someone Hurt You
Imagine seeing this person pass you by in a store. Maybe your blood pressure rises, maybe your hands shake, or maybe your temperature rises. So, there you stand angry and hurt while this person happily goes about their day with no thoughts of you. What’s wrong with this picture? This person (or, as you are thinking, this jerk) hurt you and there you are angry and hurt, while they are going about their life as normal. You are probably thinking, “but, they …” Yes, they did. Yes, they probably are a jerk. But, they are going about their lives normally. Why shouldn’t you?

Something Happened
Something has happened to each of us. Some have dealt with more than others. The key is not what we deal with, but how we deal with it. Some of us need to go to therapy, some don’t. The problems arise when the something is at the core of our daily lives. When we center our lives around one event or individual and carry this burden on our shoulders each day, our backs hurt. When our backs hurt, we slump our shoulders, we keep a frown on our face. Boy, we look terrible, so don’t bother doing your hair—it won’t make a difference. Now, that we feel negative and look negative, we are getting a whole bunch more negative.

What a vicious cycle it is. So, let’s talk briefly about the law of attraction. Like attracts like. If you feel happiness (a positive emotion), you will attract positive emotions. If you feel anger (a negative emotion), you will attract negative emotions. If you continue to feel negative emotions about a person or a situation, you are likely to feel and receive negative emotions in other areas of your life.

The bad news is that by holding all of these negative feelings inside, you are only hurting yourself. So now that you know what carrying all of this around does to you to you, what can you do about it?

Where Does Forgiveness Come Into the Picture?
By going through the motions of truly forgiving someone or a situation, you are allowing yourself to move on from it. You are releasing the negative emotions and feelings associated with it or them. By releasing those feelings, you are making room in your life for more positive emotions and feelings to come in. Why forgiveness? Forgiveness and gratefulness are two of the most powerful emotions that one can feel. Forgiving someone is not denying the hurt, but is allowing yourself to release the negative emotions associated with it. By releasing the negative emotions surrounding the person or situation, you are able to reflect on the situation and learn from it. In everything that we experience in life (positive and negative), there is always a lesson.

The lesson can only be seen once we are able to see the negative emotions and remove them from our lives. Forgiveness is part of the process of removing the negative emotions from our lives and in some sense, you are forgiving yourself for feeling hurt and anger for so long. You are now allowing yourself to feel happiness and joy. You are essentially saying to yourself, “It is okay to feel happy and live a joyful life.”

How can you start?
The weather is changing; let’s start shedding some of that negative skin and reveal new skin. Begin noticing what brings joy to your life and what makes you smile. Start reflecting on when you are at your best: When do you feel great? What were you doing the last time you felt truly happy? Start enjoying the small things in life, like feeling the grass between your toes, a beautiful flower or tree, or an innocent child seeing something for the first time. You are here to live a full, joyous life, so start today—It only takes one step.